Pagka nalang gyud....

Sus,atimana! Nkakatwa ko kai one time ng chika mi sa akong friend and ingon xa na ingon pd daw iyang friend na ironic keu ang mga warning signs sa mga jeep kai moingon na NO SMOKING pero ang driver mismo kai ga smoke.so exempted?

Ug sa dihang nisakay ko ug jeep, dire ra jud ko sa Cebu nakaingon nga snob sa personal ang mga tao kai dili lage sila mosibog naman lang kai nagkalisod, kai tambok bya tawon ko. pati ang pamalihug ug plite, ang uban kai motanaw lang, and then dili man lang modawat,hala noh?!

Naa pa jud ko nabantayan (nklaro na gyud noon na himantayon ko dah...tsk tsk) Naay uban tao na bisan ug way labot sa storya mo join jud,murag ako. hahahaha

BABALA....PAUNAWA...(Warning...Caution...Reminder)

Oh men! hahaha nitukar ang akong pagkaliki ,murag feeling keu nako msulat karon adlawa.
Una sa tanan, mao mao ra akong kwarta pero nipalit jud ko ug UKAY UKAY,alangan naman tag P5.00 nalang ang isa unya mga nindot (chada) pa gyd. Isa sa mga kinaiya sa Pinoy nga dili malikayan.

Nkaremember pd ko sa gi-ingon sa akong amiga nga itago nalang nato sa pangalang Maria Donnabelle Paningbatan " When your obese, you dont die old" (Kung tambok ka , ayaw ug expect na moabot paka ug dugayng tuig sa kalibutan). na touch jud ko , kai kabalo ko nga she was just trying to tell me too loose off some pounds kai dili lang bidli tanawon,but she cares for me too.

Ako mismo, gusto nako ipagbawal ang mirror mirror on the wall ...kai dko makakita sa akong imahe...larawan ng isang aparisyon,hindi ako totoo..kai mahadlok ko kung unsa na gyud ko kadako karon. Mura ko ug balloon nga hapit na moboto,unya pasumanginlan dayon nako akong hormonal imbalance, pero nakarealize ko behavioral lage daw kuno kai , tungod rani sa akong pagkatapulan.

Unsa mani testimonyo? Sa akong pagka-ako, naka suway nako sa tanan matang sa mga pills,tea,kape nga pangpaniwang, aside sa chungkang,pero ang pagka depress raman jud ang naka paniwang nako oi...saon pero dili ko gusto mahitabo na kai ikamatay unya nako...hesusmariahusep!

Why....Ngano....Bakit...???

Its been awhile,I've been busy lately..I know that I am in the stage of my life wherein I feel like I am completely lost and out of control. I wonder why I have to go through this kind of feeling wherein I am confused and its been like this for quite some time,Im afraid that me developing this kind of habit is unhealthy. It jeopardizes my work and the people around me. I can not make up my mind, simply because I am preoccupied , with things that I am uncertain of.

Now here I am listening to Franz Liszt,trying out to figure out what to do. Ah,one of my frustrations is to become a world-renowned artist. Or at least have a legacy that others might remember me for something. Oh well,on a not so serious note, I missed hanging out with the few people I trust with my life, I have so many so-called friends. I actually have several circle of friends but then only few are there for me on my lowest and darkest days.

But I dont know if I am cursed, once I get attached to people,Its like they leave me and I feel all alone. Perhaps , one of my friend was right that it was a form of denial for me. I am the one who is running away, maybe because of the past , I endured so much pain and its like my way of dealing with things.