LAST NIGHT


Dont let go,I would want to whisper that into his ear. But then again,I had to set him free and watch him walk away.
I know that I should give him up. He came into my life unexpectedly,I know I shouldnt be holding on.
Call me the Queen of Paranoia but I feel really bad,it's like i find people staring and looking at me,it's like they want to hurt me,i want to run away. Sometimes, I feel like im drowning, I want to disappear,I want to freeze and then drop dead.
I feel so screwed,I am scared of myself and the things that I am capable of doing, I am afraid to think, I am afraid to close my eyes. I wish it never happened.
I look at myself, I bit my lip and I want it to bleed,like how my heart is bleeding now. I want to scream. I want to run away coz I know,The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them.
Nothing hurts more then waiting since I don't even know what I'm waiting for anymore.
Maybe he's doing the same thing as me... maybe he wants so bad to call me, but just won't because I haven't called him... then again, maybe I shouldn't fill myself with false hope that he might just be missing me like I'm missing him..now this thing here sucks! He asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing, when he turned around and a tear came down and I whispered to myself... everything is. How sad!

Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of him and every song I heard somehow related to him. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I dont have. YOU!